Respect the Disrespect.
Rejection is - usually - a good thing!
“I have learned more from rejection and failure than acceptance and success.”
- Henry Rollins { #todaysmantra }
Rejection and failure are not fun. Never is. And everyone experiences it in their life many times. And it will likely happen many more times as well.
Some people ruminate over the specific situation so many times, it's hard to move on - and maybe they don't move on. Some people are able to push past it and get on with their lives quickly - never looking back. And some folks are able reflect on the situation more and use the rejection or feeling of failure to their advantage - able to use it as a fuel for strength. All eventually (or hopefully) are able to see how the rejection turned out well for them.
I've used rejection and failure in all of the ways above. In different periods have lingered in the sadness of loss (sometimes too long!) but overall have been able to accept the outcome. To use the failure as a way to create internal perseverance in life to move on and to GROW.
I remember back in the day (the 90's!) telling a few family members and close friends that I wanted to travel Europe. I was 18 years old, had just broken up with my first long-term relationship and had no savings to my name. They laughed at me, told me I was crazy and then carried on with their lives.
I was hurt by their disbelief that I could do it. And although I hate saying I would do something and then NOT do it, I was MORE motivated to make this happen because not ONE person believed that I could. Not one person including my own mom.
I carried on quietly, picked up a few more jobs and worked like mad to save every penny I could. Then one day after half a year, I went to the travel agent near The Bay downtown Winnipeg to buy my Euro pass, book my flight and figure out my visa situation. I told no one close to me about my motives behind working so much. Just some random people I met while I worked who inspired me to stay the course. I worked a retail job, a restaurant job and a cocktail bar job downtown. I LOVED that period of life and time in Winnipeg! Although I remember vividly being extremely hurt when the Jets were sold off to Arizona and when Canada lost to the Czech Republic in the Men's World Ice Hockey Championship (sidebar!) These were real feelings of hurt and when I left loving hockey!
But the fact that not one person believed me somehow created something in me to prove them wrong. I had no idea how much that feeling of rejection probably pushed me to where I am right now. I might have chilled out and relaxed on it if they had believed me! So I am thankful for that feeling of rejection.
There are so many benefits to being rejected. I encourage you to try to create some rejection in your life by constantly stepping out of your comfort zone. Fall on your face, lose face and create not good conditions to learn from (we do this when we practice yoga). Ask someone out on a date, apply for the job you dream of, create the job you dream of, apologize to someone, take a risk.
Here are just a few benefits (also known as blessings!):
1. We are motived to do better! We show up a little bit more at the next chance.
2. We are taught to be more patient. We tinker and get things going in a good direction until things are ready for you (or they also surprise you!)
3. It helps us redirect on a new path. We are rewired in the moment to see things in a new way and our path will most likely change as a result.
4. We learn to be good to all. To not to burn bridges. Sometimes people cannot see what we see and vice versa so we don't react to them.
5. Our true allies show up. A new hero shows up to help out - usually the unsuspecting ones.
******Note on that last one: I believe our actions show others how to be fearless. If they don't believe you initially, maybe they need to see you do it first before they believe in the magic of living your truest. In the end, my mother paid for my flight to Amsterdam with the only money she had. My effort was noticed by her when I was working so much that it inspired her to help me make my dreams come true.
Can you share any rejection or failure experiences that helped inspire your life? What things are you keeping to yourself for fear of failure or rejection? Sharing aloud (email to me or sharing with strangers!) has a powerful effect to push things into fruition! Say it aloud! Write it in a journal. Share in a social media post! Take out an ad in the paper!
Don't hold back!
Las thing here, I am teaching in Modo LA June 10-14th. Check out the schedule here if you are in LA or want to share with any of your friends in the Venice area. By the way, I asked to teach at the Modo LA when I first started teaching in 2012. They said no to me because I was a new teacher. Since then though, I have been asked to teach there twice before but have been too busy in DC. I remember feeling frustrated by not being accepted back then but have felt so blessed that it didn't work out as I was not ready. But I am SO grateful to be going there now. Just some food for thought.
Grazie,