You Are Human
When I first started writing about my life in 2012, everything felt raw, charged, and unclear. I didn't know why I was compelled to write but it somehow felt necessary. It was like something emerging from me that needed a way out in order for me to transform. And then I needed to hold it up for all to see - for it to be witnessed - brought out by my own consciousness. It was like doing deep work with a machete to clear the way for something else. Uncovering pain buried deep in order for something else to grow in it's place. And after over 6 years, I can see the progress from that reach. Because being able to share in pain and struggle is where real healing can start to happen.
I was scared to share about my past, hardships I endured, and strength I had to find within when it was no where in sight. Once I did verbalize deep pain, I found I was not alone, I found that people wanted to help but also to share in their own suffering. A community sprung from that. And that was where connection grew - I felt held and I could hold others in new ways as well.
I read this article the other day from The Book of Lifecalled, "How To Make People Feel Good" that reminded me of this. It highlights the need for people to hold space for each other, taking the risk by asking for support and burdening our friends with our pains and sufferings. Because people we know {and don't know} actually want to help.
When we are tapped for advice or asked to lend an ear, that's where we are able to put into action what we do each day for our work and with our families. We want to feel needed. We want to be put to use. We want to support each other. It's our human condition. And since sharing my very first blog in 2012 to today, I have been able to really let shackled thinking go (in increments!! boy it wants to stay!)
Don't get me wrong, I still have the pain from my experiences but they no longer are the weight they once were. Secure by my own actions I am able to trust in order to receive.
I experienced this recently while in Canada in a spot called, “The Forks” and I was missing a dear friend who had moved to Calgary. We had some hard words for each other in fall 2016 and we decided to stop speaking then. In that moment two weeks ago when I texted her -while sipping a hot chocolate - I shared about one of my family member's illness. We got on the phone right away and we got deep - not skipping a beat - so happy that we still had each other. That things hadn’t changed between us. There was no need to hold on to anything.
When things get tough in life, there is no need to hold on to everything on your own. There is no need to go at it alone. Reach out and connect to people. We want to support.